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Post by DECLAN ISAAC PIERCE on Aug 29, 2011 22:14:15 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 917 ( TAGGED ) TOBY ( STATUS ) COMPLETE
The swing set took Declan higher into the sky with every sweep; his head-phones filling music into his ears and taking him somewhere even further off the ground than the swing. Fall had to be his favorite season, between the lowering humidity and the breezy, yet still comfortable weather. The humidity had to be one thing he truly despised about Virginia Beach; it made hot weather even more unbearable. Living only five miles or so away from the beach, he knew they should have anticipated it from the get-go. He wasn’t unhappy they chose here in the long-run though, in fact, he was glad they did. Otherwise, he may have never met Toby, Ronnie, or Derek. Toby was the person he was most happy to meet, even if they had a lot of fights, the two never stayed apart. Something drew them right back into their relationship, no matter how big the drop was. Lately, things have been steady going, and they’ve been doing great. It was Saturday, around three in the afternoon, and he’d woken up without Toby next to him. Assuming that he went into work earlier in the morning, Declan had gotten a shower and left the house shortly after awakening and not being able to rock himself back to sleep. It was a rare occasion that this happened, considering he could sleep at almost any given time. This fact about him bugged his loved ones to no end, but he never really cared enough to change it. He went straight to the music store down the road and bought a couple of CD’s, tossing them into his bag shortly after paying for them and some DVD’s as well. He then went to Wendy’s to get some a quick bite to eat, before finding himself here in the park.
His messenger bag was propped up against the side of the swing-set and he occasionally hit it with his foot when he was close enough to the ground, and after a couple of times he had to keep doing it, or it would drive him crazy. OCD had to be one of Declan’s major flaws, or quirks as he’d call it. He hated taking his medication, and even though he did anyways, he still had his moments such as this one. Declan’s lips moved in sync with the song that played through his headphones, I.D.G.A.F by Breathe Carolina. His eyes gazed over the area, spotting a couple of middle-age couples with their children, and some teenagers here and there. He looked at his watch when the swing slowed down, learning that it was now about quarter of five. He hadn’t even realized how long he’d been there, but he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go home yet or not, it was really nice. He had a shift at the bar around midnight, so he had a good hour or so before he really needed to go home and get ready. Declan pushed off the ground once more and began swinging higher, putting his iPod in his pocket and looking around. He heard his phone go off in his bag but didn’t bother to stop and answer it, figuring it was probably only Peter, and he rarely had something important to tell him. Half of the time it was something about one of his four cats, and it was always really, really pointless. Sometimes it’d be about Abby, his girl whore thing—as Declan called her—and wanting advice. Peter just couldn’t get through his head that Declan didn’t know techniques to get people in bed, he just fucking did it. Of course, it was only Toby now, but he used to be really good at getting people in bed with him, before they got together.
After a couple of minutes of hearing people around the park Declan decided he didn’t want to hear them anymore, and put his headphones back in, It’s Complicated by A Day to Remember playing when he hit play. His iPod was probably his best friend, even more than Ronnie or Derek was, which really said something. His eyes seemed to be locked on Tropical Smoothie, the place that Toby worked at, hoping to see him come out of there and have him spend the afternoon with him, or early evening. He was starting to feel rather lonely, which happened often, he just didn’t mind it most of the time. It was just how he functioned, but he was better when he was with Toby. Happier, more at ease. He was almost a different person when he was with him, even. He reached slowed his swing, keeping the iPod playing as he bent over and got his phone out of his bag, sending him a text to meet him at the park and bring him a smoothie when he got off. Last year, Declan was having struggles with Anorexia, and he would only consume smoothies. He’d hate himself for it right after, but they were the one thing he absolutely could not resist, no matter how much effort he put into it. He was slowly eating less and less lately, those feelings returning to him, no thanks to a guy on his hockey team. He felt like less of a man, and his self-hatred was higher than before. It had to be his biggest demon, and he didn’t know how, but he was going to have to keep it under control somehow, if it was even possible to do that.
C: toby and declan are cute |
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Post by TOBY ALEC OLIVER on Sept 5, 2011 0:47:22 GMT -5
In moments like these, Toby's wished he ould walk that long misty road along side the deceased. His body would feel the anchors holding him down, and his body would turn to liquids and slip away within the cracks. He felt guilt's claws rip and tear at the base of his heart, the rush of blood spill along the core of his skin. He wanted to dislocate himself from the beast and hide away within the halls of a cave that didn't remind him of the mistakes he shoved in front of his own face. It was official at this point that the tragic events that occured within his life times often happened because he allowed it to. As he escaped the place he despised the most, his soul left his body to do as it wished. He watched himself fall into a drunken mess, a habit that slowly began to swell into an mass of pure distruction. He visioned the nights ahead that'd be himself stumbling around with a broken heart, as he reminded himself of a face he had hoped to forget. The face of an enemy.
Toby's eyes lifted the black walls that disconnected himself from reality. He was greeted with a hazy world, and a hurting heart. It raced and pounded against his chest, as he awoke with a panic that struck him with a sword in the center of the brain. A familiar feeling that nights before he had experienced for the first time, the feeling of another one's sheets wrapped around his bare body. Swallowed by silk sheets, he wondered if the cave he had constructed for himself would destruct itself. He had drifted away with Benny while in a drunken madness, and had touched him with adult fingers. No amount of reasoning had settled the scratching at him mind when he thought of the reaction he would receive from Declan when, also if, he were to let the boy know what had occured.
The skinny love beside him was enough to settle that voice that had lingered from his night terrors. Toby's eyes scanned over the sleeping beauty and depression slapped him like a body of water as he forced himself to tear his eyes away. Although his mind wished to bury all it's shame inside the safety of Declan's arms, he knew he'd only be abusing the heart that way. He clothed himslef in a working man's uniform, hiding a real him behind his job's criteria. He left the room, not looking back as he exited Declan's world, scared the image of leaving would be the last calming thought of both of their relationship.
The day had been filled with the usual rehearsed cnversations, along with plasic smiles, and phony greetings. Had the clock not strike the end of his working day, he may hav believed that the day would never end. Signing out and getting changed into his casual attire, he left, in what seemed like a hurry. He brushed by coworkers who knew now not to bother trying to catch his attention after an eight hour shift. Their useless waves and farewells never caught his eye, nor did he want it to. He had sworn to himself that working wouldn't be a social matter, plus his insides turned whenever he thought of actually holding up a conversation with someone who may have something bad to say about him.
Toby remembered the days where walking down the halls with Declan's name invisibly printed on the base of his skin was a terrible thing. He had heard of Declan's ways, the way he hadn't hesitated to lour in other men to sleep with him. Perhaps Toby was just naive to the whole thing, tha he was uneducated about the facts of choosing a loved one because before Declan his love life was non-existant. There had been moments where 'slut' seemed to be his stamp. The word printed on the paper shoved in the crack of his locker. He had bottled it up, and left it unshared with anyone, even Declan. But now, well, now he felt as though he were writing it all over his own walls.
Toby deemed the park as an official short cut to his home, having used it regularly during his days of working, so he knew what faces to expect through out the park. But his face, caught him off guard. Every inch of him ripped apart his core and hissed violent words in his ears and threatened to lash at Declan, to devour his soul and make him ruthless towards Toby. Fear had been apparent at the tips of his finger, as they began to shake as his mind repeated 'he knows, he knows, he knows.' He had been selfish, and idiotic. Declan had every right t dump his ass, with everything Declan had been through. That was what tore him limb from limb the most, the idea of Declan already being so weak from everything that had happened, and Toby had gone out and slept with someone that treated them like shit.
" Hey. " It was such a shy hello, Toby was convinced that they were on a small talk basis. It was only then that he had fought his way through the vision of guilt and noticed that Declan was listening to music. Most of him was relieved, that anyone who knew him, that sort of hello would have caught them off guard. But he didn't hesitate to claim the swing beside him, not, not swaying back and forth, just sitting. His eyes on Declan, and it was as if all the guilt and all the shame had left his body, and swirled in a cloud above him, there but at least not inside of him. " Hey, beautiful " His voice was far more confident that time, having time to collect himself.
Declan had definitely been a piece of art. There had been a long list of things Toby could name off of Declan that he loved, but also despised about himself. Toby had become a master of self-hate but had never taken action, more jealous than worried, but it was how he functioned. But he wanted to grab on to Declan, hold him, and rid of Benny's sudden existance, He wanted to hold Declan and remember how it had felt at the end of the day of being called 'slut' and 'whore' of being in Declan's arms and knowing that everyone had Declan all wrong, which of course people soon after realized when Declan hadn't bothered sleeping around. " I missed you. " His heart spoke honestly, even if he was surprised with his words.
WORD COUNT: one thousand one hundred and eighteen
SONG such small hands - la dispute
NOTES: they are!
TAGS: declandeclandeclan
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Post by DECLAN ISAAC PIERCE on Sept 11, 2011 22:59:34 GMT -5
| [atrb=border,0,true][atrb=style, width: 400px; background-color: #343434; padding:20px; border-top: 10px #af9390 solid; border-bottom: 10px #af9390 solid;] repair your broken wings ( WORDS ) 747( TAGGED ) TOBY ( STATUS ) COMPLETE
Waves of worry seemed to wash over every remaining feeling that harbored in Declan’s shelf of emotions in his heart. In the past thirty minutes, his boyfriend had failed to reply to his text message, whereas he normally managed to in about ten. It was extremely unlike Toby to not have his phone on him, and he knew that when he didn’t, something was seriously up with him. He didn’t know what it was yet, but Declan worried that he’d already caught onto Declan’s quickly changing eating habits. Or had his father done something to upset him? His mother? Maybe even… his little brother? Declan’s thoughts were scrambled and he didn’t know what else could be wrong, but he expected the worst. He tended to do that often, no matter what the situation was, because in his early years he found that most of the time the worst things were what happened. It was just a nervous habit that he had developed from so many falls from hope, and he wished he could be more positive, but whenever he was things went wrong. He told himself over and over that nothing was wrong, maybe Toby just forgot his cell phone at home. But had he seen it there? No, definitely not… and Declan’s room was always—emphasis on always—clean as a whistle. Anything below that was simply unacceptable in his book. Another fact about Declan was that his OCD tended to become more intense when he was under high stress. He caught himself doing things that were odd and in patterns, and he hated it, but it was how he functioned.
The craving of a smoothie was beginning to overwhelm him, and he had to talk himself down into remembering that he wasn’t gonna get one, considering his text message hadn’t been answered. He closed his eyes and kept them closed for a good five minutes, opening once or twice because he, like most human beings, could not resist the urge to look around and see what was happening. He had a better grip of it than most people did, though – it was just the fact that he was in a public place and he was vulnerable that made him open his eyes a number of times. He often looked for a face in the area he was in, a certain one – one that belonged to Alex McCoy. There wasn’t a single man on the earth that made him feel so small – so helpless, other than him. He wasn’t often afraid of bullies, never, actually, but this one was something different. He took away his sense of being almost, the dominancy that he always had was no longer with him. He used to be able to walk around knowing he was in charge of what happened in his life, a certain confidence that he always had, no matter what, even if he didn’t have any in other departments. Recently, he’d been spending more time at the gym, which was weird for him, but he was starting to build up some muscle. Not much, in fact, he was still quite lean, but he figured that had to do with his lack of nutrition.
His song had come to a pause when he felt a presence next to him and he looked over immediately, smiling and turning his iPod off just enough to hear his greeting. He smiled and wrapped his cord around his iPod, putting it in his pocket and slowing down, “Hi, gorgeous…” He said, his voice low but confident. He leaned his head over and planted a quick peck on Toby’s check, holding onto the swing side with both hands, his head propped next to it so that it was closer to Toby. He smiled a little bit more, this time teeth included. “I missed you too…” He told him, rubbing his own face and looking down at the mulch. It was so ugly looking, and it had a weird smell to it, but he couldn’t help but look down at it sometimes. His attention wasn’t on it for much longer and he looked at him once again, his smile gone this time. He looked more worried once again, and he tilted his head at him.“You didn’t answer my text… which means you probably don’t have your phone… and you’ve been acting really… weird lately. Is there something I need to know?” He asked, looking legitimately concerned, and not breaking eye contact with him.
C: toby and declan are cute |
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